To Write Or Not To

D tells me, “Why don’t you write? I like the way you used to write.”

As if I am some kind of professional, I excused myself, by telling her, I have writer’s block.

I have been reading, watching, listening and consuming information. Most of this information is not useful for me. I am least bothered about what I read. I am just mechanically consuming information. Reproducing the same as posts on LinkedIn. And I have not been communicating as to what I feel.

I sometimes feel, I don’t feel anymore. I just eat and vomit.

I am doubtful if I can ever write again. Whether I will ever be in free flow. Have I lost it?

And what will I write about? This blog has been total chaos, sometimes jotting down everything I feel and sometimes taking months to write long posts. But even with all the atrocities I do, a few select set of people used to read. I am kind of sure, I would have lost their readership now.

Who will I write for?

For myself? For D? For my friends? For any arbitrary reader?

I understand writing is good.

I understand, by writing I will get to know myself. Better.

I am beginning to understand. 

Again.